Sunday, July 09, 2006

Mental imagery

I like to read the news online daily. Today I had a nice sleep in and so I just had the chance after work and some late dinner to meander over today's news. One story caught my eye in particular as it spoke of an armed hold up in the suburb where I live and this incident involved gun fire. Anything like this close to home always sets me on edge. You never think stuff like this actually happens til it affects you personally or is close to home. Anyway, I read the article with much intigue and concern and the article ends with a short physical description of the robber. I wondered if it would even be possible to detect someone with such little information about their physical appearance. It could be anyone really....... Which led me to thinking, wow... this is about as much information as I have about my father. That is insane!! And it's funny because when I tell people how tall he is and what physical descriptors I have, I often picture him standing in front of one of those walls with the measurements behind his head, as though he was a criminal. I have this shady image in my mind, that really could be anyone...

When the Courier article put his weight and height into kilograms and centimetres, the way in which I grew up measuring, I was a little thrown. I grilled my poor brother-in-law as to how tall he was and how much he weighed without even explaining myself haha... But yeh, now I realise he was at the time of donation only 2 inches taller than me... and much fatter haha. I see where I get my little and curvy build from now... it's kinda weird. It's kinda nothing too. But something. The saying clutching at straws comes to mind. I am so sick of clutching onto nothing. Sometimes I feel lucky though in that I know I do have much more than some others... but I hate feeling "lucky" even, because I certainly don't feel it.

I remember I had a dream once that T5 lived across the road from my family home and one day just casually walked up our driveway and introduced himself.

I wish we had year books here in Australia like they do over in the states, so that I could browse through some photos, just to even perhaps have an idea of what he might look like. Brown hair, brown eyes........... short....... plump........ hrmm.

T5 if you're out there, please sign up to the ITA voluntary registers. I need some confirmation that you exist.


Mia said...

YES T5 COME OOOONNNNNN!!!!!! Sign UP!!!!!!!

Rel said...

haha i love you Mia :)

I had a horrible draem last night that i found a book that had pictures of all the people in the world who looked like eachother and i was trying to find people that looked like me and i couldn't and then a truck tried to run me over :(

Mia said...

OMG its like a horror version of Where's Waldo isn't it?!?!

In all seriousness though that is one scary dream. The book is easy but I wonder, what do you suppose the significance of the truck was?

I love analyzing dreams.;o)

Rel said...

it was!!

well i was looking through the book when the truck started coming after me. maybe it means that i want to know answers before its too late? i do have a fear of dying before ever knowing the truth about my paternal family. Or maybe it's just feeling as though i am constantly being chased by this huge mess.... that it's inescapable. The truck will be chasing me til my death... or something????